This past month has been eventful and fruitful! God has been faithful as always and has been guiding me and this ministry in ways that are evident and plain to see.

Personally, God has been teaching me to continually stay rooted in Him. He has reminded me of how quickly I lose sight of his goodness and how easily I stray away from Him. In light of that reminder, he has been surrounding me with great friends and so much encouragement to continue running the race. Praise the Lord!

Epic Midyear

Midyear is a retreat that is geared toward us interns. Rather than us preparing and serving the students, this was a time where we were poured into and given time to rest in the Lord. This was a 4 day 3 night retreat where all the interns serving at campuses in the US gathered and had a chance to grow together. I personally learned so much and felt very equipped though the wisdom that was passed on to us from the speakers and staff. It felt as though God was giving me the tools I needed to lead and live out the vision he intends for our movement. In addition, simply being surrounded by other people my age who were walking very similar walks to me was refreshing and revealing. Even though most of us met for the first time, we all related to the difficulties of online ministry and shared in struggles of inadequacy or self-sufficiency. God had not only been listening to my prayers and thoughts but provided me people and community that could listen and understand me. Ultimately, God was faithful. He didn’t simply leave me with a calling for my time as an intern but graciously provided me encouragement and wisdom to move forward. I may not be able to clearly see every step and exactly where I’m headed, but I have confidence that He is guiding us in the right direction!

Cal Poly Pomona

Epic movement at our school has been going great! I’ve been so encouraged just hearing from the students and the desires God has placed on their hearts for their communities. I am constantly humbled and reminded that my capacity for love and my compassion is so small and limited. While we are still going through growing pains of pulling away from a social club, I am confident that we are finding our identity and purpose for being on this campus.

As a whole, we have been striving to recenter on the theme of win, build, send. This may sound familiar to some of you but to reiterate, our purpose is to win hearts for Christ, to build up Christ-centered leaders, and to send students into the communities and circles they have been intentionally placed in, that their lives would proclaim the beauty of the gospel. Practically this has taken the form of actively evangelizing on campus and in daily life. For Joel and I, building looks like regularly meeting with our current leaders and students(to the best of our ability) with intentionality and a desire to nurture and care for their hearts, not just planning and fulfilling responsibilities. Sending has been less tangible, and has been centered on reminding students of the simplicity of the gospel and encouraging them God can and will use them to spread that good news to the people around them. These three things are very interconnected and overlap heavily but that’s a look into what has been happening within our ministry! I realize now that these things that we are heavily leaning into/emphasizing are things that should have been happening since the very beginning and again I am reminded of my shortcomings as a leader. However, in spite of me, God is moving so miraculously through each of these students lives and although I cannot see it yet, is working in the students surrounding our community as well!

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Your word is a lamp to my feet
    and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105 ESV

Epic West Coast Winter Conference 1.14-1.17

Before talking about my ministry at CPP, I wanted to share a bit about my experience at Epic Conference. God used this weekend that I came into with no expectations and used it to bless me, encourage me, and ultimately answer so many prayers. Epic Conference is a time for students from campuses across the country to come together and learn/recenter on the heart and vision of Epic, while building relationships and connections with brothers and sisters from a variety of different backgrounds, united by Christ. My past experience with these conferences were centered around the community building rather than individual growth as I felt that the speakers were pushing their agendas and simply sprinkling Jesus’ name on top. In addition, due to COVID-19, none of the students from our campus were able to attend, leaving Joel and I with no students to directly serve and shepherd during this time.

God allowed us to connect with a handful of students, primarily from Purdue University as their staffer was unable to attend the conference. This was a blessed time of connection and mutual encouragement. I imagine Paul must’ve felt similarly meeting the brothers and sisters who were of the same heart during his ministry(trust me I know I have a long way to go before comparing myself to Paul it was just cool is what I’m saying). They had recently started their Epic and hearing their stories brought me such joy and similarly a rebuke for my disheartened attitude despite my privilege relative to their journey.

In addition, this year every speaker truly pierced my heart. Personal agendas and potentially divisive opinions were put aside with a heart and desire to bring together rather than divide and that was a pleasant surprise. The theme of the conference was the Good News and each message revealed to me and reminded me of how desperately God was seeking me out. God began to heal my broken and insecure heart while simultaneously reminding me of the beauty of how he created me. I was so focused on shaming myself for my sins but was reminded of the simple essential truth that He already sent his Son to die for them. God broke my heart and reminded me of his love for me, that at my lowest he is still seeking me, and that in turn, he is using me to remind His children of that truth. The gospel has never struck my heart so deeply. God began restoring me to Him while igniting my heart for the lost. Praise the Lord!

Winter Break

This past month I was blessed with what felt like a mini Sabbatical. I might not be using the word correctly but having a time to assess the past semester and realign my heart in preparation for the second half was much needed and a benefit of campus ministry I never considered. Ultimately, God granted Joel and I direction and vision to carry into the spring semester.

One struggle I personally had last semester was finding my role and place on the team. One thing I knew for certain was that I had to be careful not to overstep and take the responsibilities of the student leaders. I was confident in my desire and God’s desire for the students to grow through leadership the same way I did. My goal was and still is to provide a space that allows for mistakes and meets students with grace rather than labor for perfection. To me this meant giving leaders freedom to serve in whatever ways they felt led. My role in that was supportive and to put simply an extra set of hands. While this came from a good place, ultimately the students ended up feeling lost and lacked confidence in what they were hoping to achieve. With this in mind, Joel and I decided to be more intentional in casting vision and helping guide the students more.

Our focus last semester revolved around rebuilding community and doing our best to comfort students who almost all struggled over Covid. While this was beneficial and necessary, Joel and I felt led to shift the focus to Epic’s vision: Win, Build, Send. We exist not to mimic a church service or to be a social club for students who call themselves Christians but to be a movement that boldly proclaims God’s goodness through evangelism and discipleship. In light of this shift, God has helped me find my footing and a bigger picture goal to strive towards.

The first three weeks of our semester so far have been virtual. Going back to virtual even if only for a short period of time was not appealing however it was an enjoyable time with the students. We’ve been working with students to grow in community and intentionality while also meeting with leaders and sharing our heart for the ministry. Working amidst these things has been new and confusing at times but ultimately exciting.

Prayer Requests

• That our vision and heart would continue to align with the Lord’s will for our ministry and the campus
• For the hearts of the student leaders as they continue to learn and practice what it means to serve the Lord fully
• Personally, that I would continue to seek the Lord for healing over my heart
• That I would desire the Lord and not just sanctification or knowledge
• For the way I live life and for Epic as a whole to continually be rooted in the gospel

Hello it’s been a while since the last one. That’s my bad no excuses really for that but expect monthly updates from now on. The first semester at CPP(Cal Poly Pomona) has concluded and we are now preparing to step into the new semester! Here are some highlights from the last couple months!

Fall Retreat

Fall retreat was our first inter-campus event working all together as a staff team. Planning amidst ever-changing COVID regulations proved difficult however ultimately the event was a success! This was a 3 day conference hosted by a local church, Good Stewards Church, using their outdoor space. In past years, we would go to a campsite in the mountains however, due to COVID we had to switch things up. This limited the extent of what we could do but helped us narrow down what was important. Our team leader Gabe, spoke for the three sessions and worship teams led by students from both campuses led us in song. Students volunteered to lead small groups and facilitated conversations after each session. We sprinkled in some Squid Game themed activities and concluded it all with an afternoon at the park to relax.

Personally, this was a pivotal time for me because this event was the first time I felt I was in a role as a staff member and not just a student leader as I have been throughout college. Helping out in bible study or meeting up with students somewhat felt the same as past years however organizing this retreat was new and out of my comfort zone. At the same time it was a joy to see the students start to become closer and more comfortable with one another. Watching this growth made it evident to me that for whatever reason(COVID, isolation, online school) so many students strongly desired community and relationship. A space like this to meet new people and also have intentional time of growing in faith together was welcomed and enjoyed.

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Some pictures from the last couple months

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How I’m Doing

These past few months have been very transformative and to be frank, difficult. I’ve spoken about this a bit before but I’ve been continually humbled and left wanting to be more or be better. Especially now writing this update, I’m left feeling disappointed in myself and left with the reality that I have poorly stewarded my resources. God has been revealing that despite what I said and what I believed, I did not step into this space of ministry fully trusting God to move. God has been breaking down strongholds of pride in me that thought I had what it took to step into ministry out of my own good character.

Before I continue I want to acknowledge that this is likely not something you’re expecting to hear as someone who supports me in any capacity. As cute as it is, I just felt that giving an update with smiling pictures simply wasn’t a wholistic and accurate representation of how my ministry has been going. I really am sorry and promise I am taking steps so that hopefully next month this update can change even a little bit.

In this season of my life, I have been doubting myself and displeased with myself. It’s been difficult trying to do ministry out of this state. I want to handle these things before pouring into the people around me but grow more frustrated the longer it goes on. I find myself in unproductive slumps avoiding my worries and fears by distracting myself with entertainment and fun.

In light of this, even when I am doubtful, it has been evident that God is still with me. Even when I feel like I’m letting down the people around me I can find solace in his unconditional love for me. He continues to shower me with love that I don’t deserve through the people around me and I can say with confidence he is growing me and continues to hear and answers my prayers.

Lastly please don’t worry too much. Reading this back and seeing it in writing, I feel that I’ve dramatized my situation. I’m doing alright and am surrounded by a loving support group. There have been many joys in my life and I can say with confidence that I can taste and see that He is good. 🙂

Prayer Requests

• For Epic as a whole, that it’s leaders(including me) would continue to stay steadfast and Christ-centered in their vision and goals.
• Specifically for students as they deal with uncertainty of the mode of instruction for school next semester.
• The coming Epic Winter Conference, for physical safety as well as a fruitful time for the students.
• For my heart, that I would be fully reliant on Christ and strive to become just a little bit more like Him day by day.