Epic Meetings

This month, we transitioned our weekly meetings from a local church to a room on campus. We transitioned for greater accessibility and in a desire to better reach our campus. In addition, it relieves the strain of the students who would drive back and forth every week.

While we had plenty of great reasons to make the switch, the transition itself proved somewhat difficult. There was a matter of equipment, that previously had been set up and organized for us at the church. Being on campus, we had to purchase equipment, and now have a weekly task of carrying and setting up all the equipment.

The first week we made the change was a bit stressful for me. There were many decisions to be made regarding what was necessary under our budget along with prayer that the fedex and amazon drivers would arrive on time.

Thankfully, as different as things were, the entire night went smoothly! The largest hiccup was an uncooperative projector screen. A couple new faces showed up and some curious people passing by stopped to see what was going on.

Bible Studies

Every week, I would meet with our two men’s bible study leaders to prepare for our bible study with the rest of the brothers. Now, there have been so many guys in attendance that we felt it would be wise to split into three groups rather than two meaning I would take a group to lead. Since the beginning of the semester I have been joining in on these times. These bible studies with the students have been one of the highlights of my week that I have found such joy and encouragement in.

Last semester, I would stop by to bible studies semi-regularly. My hope was to show the bible study leaders I trusted them to responsibly handle the time. I also carried a fear that the students would be uncomfortable if their newer staff member was present and decided I would get to know them before even considering integrating into the sessions.

Looking back, I regret missing out on these precious times. Through the word, the barriers of titles and age are powerless and instead we have been able to mutually encourage each other in truth and love. We are able to share our struggles with one another and to lift one another up in prayer. There is loving rebuke over blindspots we carry or over twisted lies we have grown to believe about ourselves or God. I initially stepped in to meet a need, however there have been countless times God has used these brothers to speak to me and answer my prayers.

Recently, during our bible study, I clearly saw God soften the heart of one our students. We had been going through Romans 8, specifically towards the end where Paul states

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

Throughout our discussion regarding this section, one student who hadn’t been around in a while continued to tie the conversation back towards how amazing God’s love was. I was encouraged by his awareness of the big picture in the midst of breaking down each verse. It was evident to me that he was struck by the magnitude of God’s love and was eager to share about it. He wasn’t simply analyzing the text but was sharing from his heart.

As we concluded our time and shared our prayer requests, he was hesitant and ended up sharing that his father was very sick. He shared honestly of the burden this had placed on him and is family. My perspective on everything had been sharing totally shifted. He was struggling, and was desperate and expectant to see the love of God that we had read about. We paused our time of sharing and came together to pray over him. It has been such a blessing to walk in the word with my brothers.

I ask that you would take a moment to join us in praying for this student and his family.

Answering God’s Call Retreat

This was a one day event that was specifically geared for upperclassmen students. The hope was to help them amidst their preparations to transition out of their college lives. The entire thing was free and organized and planned by some other staff members who invited some of Epic’s national leaders to sit with the students.

As the retreat was held here in SoCal, our staff team was invited to simply enjoy the time for ourselves. I had a great time listening and praying with my students. Being able to hear from some students I don’t interact with as regularly was very encouraging. All of them have a lot on their plates and are eager to step into what God is calling them towards.

Prayer Requests

• For the students of the campus, that their hearts would be opened to God
• That we as Epic would have wisdom and opportunities to show those around us God’s love
• That as leaders, our hearts would continue to grow more aligned with God’s
• For the country of Japan

This month’s update will recap the conclusion of the student’s winter break and the start of the coming semester. The month was eventful and busy. I got sick, attended a church trip, had our annual Epic Winter Conference, and was refreshed at our Epic Intern Midyear. It’s hard to believe only a month has passed since the last update!

Epic Winter Conference – Anthology

Winter conference is a yearly event where Epic Movements from across the country gather together for a weekend. Around 150 students came together at a hotel in Irvine for the weekend, around 30 of them coming from our ministry back in Pomona. Conference is a time where students are able to gain a better understanding of what Epic as an organization looks like, and to connect with other students from different backgrounds and situations. Most importantly, we all had the opportunity to learn about ways we can proclaim and demonstrate the good news. The title of the conference was anthology, referring to a collection of stories. Through speakers and small group discussions, students were pushed to consider the reality that their stories were a part of God’s greater story, and to find comfort in God’s care and intentionality with each of their individual lives.

Students were then given a chance to share that redeeming truth with others around them in a portion of the weekend called Day of Faith. The hope for the Day of Faith is to give students a chance to implement what they learned and to give them a chance to see God move. Our desire was also to equip them in such a way that they would continue to take steps when they returned home.

My role for the conference, besides being with my students, was to be on the planning team for the Day of Faith. Besides general prayer on planning, I specifically was tasked with giving a small training session in order to prepare students for the day. Ultimately this job shouldn’t have been too time consuming however, I had a very difficult time thinking of what to say. I wanted to be careful and speak to everyone regardless of their background or any prior understanding they carried. This was somewhat paralyzing, and made preparing what I wanted to say somewhat difficult. There was a specific portion of the time where my desire was to encourage every student to take some step of faith, and to remind them of God’s character. However, when I considered that there were those who were passionate about spreading the gospel, some who were nervous and fearful, and even some who were jaded and disagreed with the sharing of our faith, I found myself constantly speaking to three groups. In the end, I somewhat foolishly attempted to talk to them all. But as I reflected on my work, and as I prayed while the students dispersed, I was humbled and reminded of the simple reality that it was not my job or even in my power to comfort them and to speak to them out of knowledge of who they were. It would be prideful to think I could understand and attend to every single story in the midst of training. This is not to say I don’t care for the stories of our students, however that my care should point to surrendering them, even in something as simple and practical as a training.

On the actual day, we partnered with a local church and sent around half of the students to evangelize to strangers in the area. The opportunity to partner with the church was helpful as they had some of their members join our less experienced students and it allowed us to connect anyone we met to someone at the church.

For the other half of our students, we had them go through stations in which they would be challenged to share their faith. To name a few examples: students wrote letters to their families, posted testimonies on social media, and spent time in guided intentional prayer for their communities.

In both of these ways, I was humbled and surprised by the zeal the students displayed. I half-expected some students to be disappointed that they would be going out evangelizing to strangers out of fear or a desire to stay in their comfort zones. Instead, students came up to me saying the total opposite! They were so thankful their groups were the ones going to partner with the church and reach the community. And for the others, I was worried that students simply wouldn’t desire to engage with families or roommates out of fear of discomfort, yet I witnessed so many students take leaps of faith and encouraging their peers to do the same.

Intern Midyear

The midyear retreat is a time geared towards us interns. Some of the older staff come together to walk with us, encourage us, and to practically equip us. In addition, its a chance for us interns to connect with one another and to be emboldened by one another, which I certainly was. I had time to reflect on how poorly I prioritized resting well and time to share and process through stories of pain that I carried. I spoke to some very wise people who encouraged me and lifted me up, not for who I was, but for who God made me to be.

Sadly, our time was somewhat interrupted by covid! One of the interns tested positive during our time and the plans shifted from there. Thankfully everyone is all recovered now and we were still able to have time to connect and get to know each other. Although it did not go 100% according to plan, I was so encouraged by my peers who are faithfully doing amazing work in their respective ministries.

Prayer Requests

• For the hearts of the students, both in our ministry and not, that they would need and desire God
• For our leaders, that they would find peace and rest in His promises
• For college campuses across the country
• For Japan

The last week of December was the end of the classes however, my recap of that was included in the November update. This update will be a summary of the winter break so far.

Something I spent a lot of time doing this month was reflecting and processing a very specific moment from this semester. Through conversations with some of the people around me, I came to realize it was something I had taken very little time to do. This past year was quite eventful and for the most part, I failed to slow down and sit still. Ultimately, I’m thankful for the lessons I learned and the healing I was able to find in God.

Reflection

A couple months ago, my family and I experienced a loss that was very unexpected and heartbreaking. I remember receiving a text while I was meeting with a student to prepare for a bible study. I was struck with confusion and disbelief, and simply carried on because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know who to share this with, how to handle my emotions and most of all I didn’t know what to think of God. I continued to be diligent in my readings and tried to remain disciplined but found myself wanting to distance myself from God. I did my best to continue to fulfill my responsibilities but found myself afraid of sitting still and being by myself. I avoided these emotions and thoughts and didn’t face them until the day of the funeral.

It felt like every day that passed, God was calling out to me. There were passages about rejoicing in suffering, conversations about sharing our burdens with one another, and sermons that felt like they were written for me and my exact situation. I spent weeks running away from these things not knowing why but ultimately, God dragged me back to Him.

I personally had never experienced such emotional distress before in my life. Reflecting on my experience I see such beauty and care in God’s plan for my family and I. I realize how important it is to mourn and to acknowledge my weakness. I see that no matter how far I may feel from God, He is always there. I was so encouraged by the faith my family displayed, and the love and prayers of my community. In the moment, I could only see how little my faith was and how helpless I felt. Looking back I see that God was humbling me and in fact growing my faith. The doubts and uncertainties I held were a part of his greater plan to remind me of my need for Him, while continuing to raise me up.

While these were things I personally learned as a result of this loss, God has displayed his sovereignty over the entire situation. The ways in which He has already used this death for His kingdom and glory continue to bring me to worship Him. Despite my tiny faith, it is clear to see how wonderful His plans can be.

I wanted to acknowledge that I didn’t share too many personal details and apologize. I felt it wasn’t my place to share everything but wanted to be honest and transparent with you all about my own journey during this time.

In regards to my ministry, God taught me how difficult it is to take my own advice. Countless times I have had conversations and walked with students who are struggling. Every time I ask them to turn to God in prayer with everything they are carrying, whether it be fears, doubts, insecurities, or even anger at God. I often encourage my students to do their best to share openly without fear of judgement or burdening me yet, I fell victim to those exact fears. I was reminded of the importance of leaning on others and learned the importance of opening up to my students. I have never more deeply hoped and trusted in heaven and my heart breaks in a new way for those who do not have this same hope. God has reminded just how desperately the world, in all it’s brokenness, needs his good news.